Denial

I suppose the question truly comes down to are you more scared of living in denial and allowing yourself to fall deeper under the control of your disease or is the fear of getting treated greater? It must be very scary to admit to this diagnosis and submit to treatment, but your current life situation does not seem like it is working well for you either. Perhaps if your fear of leaving the house, plus facing this is too great, online therapy might be something you might find helpful. You will have to eventually seek medical treatment as well, but small steps lead to big change. Check out therapyhub.com and look though the therapists available and perhaps try a session, therapy to help you work towards seeking treatment for your schizophrenia might be useful.

You have the strength to face this, you just have to muster it.

-CK

i know you got a negative comment from someone on here... i hope that doesn't keep you from looking for support... most people on here are wonderful uplifting people... take what is helpful and leave the rest okay?? i think you need to get honestt with your doctors and get into some therapy... i know it's scary and the medication that might quiet the voices and stablize your mood might leave you feeling not yourself... there might be no perfect answer... but you can work with your doctors to get you as close as possible.

I almost feel like I took a large step just by finally admitting that maybe I really am schizophrenic. I don't know how that wll fly with my job but it is who I am. There's nothing I can do to change that.

well, go to another doctor, have your records sent to them, let them get to know you, talk to them about your life and your symptoms and see what they say. the alternative to asking for help is to continue how you have been... and it seems you are pretty sick of that.

Unfortunately while I'm on disability I have to stick with the same dr. I plan to look elsewhere after I return to work.

what i mean is see if they diagnose you with it again... or if they still agree that is what is going on. you are doing great...be patient and give yourself credit for the huge steps you are taking.

To get over the denial part is a big step, and a relief. To move on from it and start to accept it and do something about it, not repress it. You can still live a happy, pretty normal life. I have just been diagnosed and put on medication a few weeks ago, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. But I realize that running from it will do no good.

I'm a little concerned about the medication my dr will have me try. Tomorrow I see her and will be finally coming clean with her about all the symptoms I experience. I've read that Risperdal is used to treat schizophrenia and I'm already taking that for my bipolar but I still display some major schizophrenic symptoms. I just don't wanna end up a zombie to be able to cope with this disease. I'm already tired all the time from what I take now. I'll have to report back tomorrow what she ends up prescribing.